Sunday 23 August 2015

Its how you make them feel

This is my most favourite 'Maya Angelou' quote of all time. I love it. I'm pretty sure its not aimed specifically at nurses  but it absolutely plays an integral part of being a great nurse.

As a nurse you have the ability to make your patient feel like the most important person.It takes a skilled clinician to be crazy busy,with a million things to do before handover,to take time out to focus solely on your patient.

A while ago I read the 'FISH' philosophy book( http://www.fishphilosophy.com ). One thing they talk about is 'being there'. Its about being present, in the moment. Its about making that person feel important no matter how busy you are. Its about taking the time to take their issues seriously.I think we can take this and apply it to our every day nursing lives( and every day lives too for that matter).

To a parent,their child is the most important thing ever. There have been many occasions when I've had a busy shift in ED. Had really sick kids to care for and often distraught parents too. Quite often once I've finished with the sicker kids,my next patient would be a child who could have quite easily ( and safely) been seen by a GP or even just managed at home. It can be frustrating and exacerbating. It's time consuming. But, to those parents, their child is important. To me,that child needs to be important too.I need to put aside my frustration and treat the family and child with respect and empathy. Because that's what they will remember when their child is actually sick and does need to be in a hospital. I never want a parent to feel like they can't come back if they need to.

That's not to say I don't get irritated or frustrated. Of course I do but I really try to take a step back and breath before I walk into that room.

When my boy was two he had Coxsackie disease (Hand,foot and mouth disease). He had a fever and a mouth full of ulcers. He refused to drink. I took him to the GP(a locum as mine was away). The GP tried to look in his mouth. My boy jumped off my knee and hid in the corner. The GP looked at me disgusted- she said if he wasn't so naughty she'd be able to look in his mouth. Actually ,no. If he wasn't so scared and sore,she may have been able to look in his mouth. If she had an ounce of understanding on how to deal with kids,she may have been able to look in his mouth.
She made me feel terrible. Like I was wasting her time cos she didn't have the skill to look after my child. I never want to make my patients feel like that woman made me feel.

A few months ago I ended up taking my hubby to ED at 3 am. He had a massive tooth abscess and was having fevers and rigours. He had a vasovagal attack and I couldn't get him off the floor at one point. He had seen a dentist and was commenced on antibiotics. He obviously needed more than a simple dose of oral antibiotics. I worked in ED,I know what people said about going to the ED with a 'toothache'. I knew we'd not be a priority.The nurse we saw was amazing. He showed empathy and gave great explanations to my non medical husband. He put him at ease. Took his blood and gave him pain relief and fluids. He was busy. It was 3 am. He never once made us feel like we were wasting his time. We were extremely grateful.


I recently had a mum of a young baby in my clinic. Her girl had eczema. To me it was fairly mild. She was crying and said she couldn't cope with her baby being so sick. I have eczema ,I know its a nightmare, but to me, there are worse things to have. To that mum,at that time,that was the worst thing to happen to her baby. Who am I to tell her different? Of course I tried to normalise her experiences of eczema but it is my job to help her cope. Two weeks later,she was in a different place-able to cope ,with a good treatment plan. If I'd have made her feel uncomfortable,I'd have never helped her to get to that place. I'd not have been able to have that follow up clinic with her as she'd have never come back.

I read a fantastic blog by a student nurse recently-
http://www.nurseuncut.com.au/nurses-are-amazing-souls-a-young-patients-perspective.

In it a young student and cancer survivor talks about the impact nurses have had on him. He talks about the nurses who put in his IV,hung his chemo,held his hand. It made me so proud to be a nurse. His post really gets to the crux of why we are nurses. To be there with the patient. To be present.


Its sometimes tough being a nurse. We give an awful lot of ourselves yet we still are expected to remain professional and able to function. We need to learn resilience. Maybe that will be the subject of my next blog post......








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